“Now my parents said, go ahead and take your stand, but don’t be too proud to have a backup plan”
It’s been a pretty unbelievable last couple of months. Major press, deals that are moving forward, vision that is turning into reality.
My dream, it’s happening, and it’s the damnedest thing to experience.
The series of events that put me on this course to to this moment in time, I never would have picked them given the choice. The Crash and losing Jim, the ex-wife’s affair, Denver’s death; individually it would be a lot to deal with, and in complete totality—it should have put me in the mindset to continuously play it safe for eternity.
I know I never totally grew out of my angsty rebellion phase, I still miss not having my hair random colors, and I never miss an opportunity to challenge authority. I’m aware that my take it/leave it personality and general desire to dynamite anything that is done simply because “it’s always been done that way” hasn’t always made me the popular one in traditional circles.
Nine13 has always made sense to me, even if it wasn’t always the safe thing to do…even when it didn’t make sense to anyone else.
Safe would have been law school. Safe would have been going into finance. Safe would have been finding a 9-5 and shutting up. Safe would have been realizing that at 24 when this came together, I should do this for a few years and if it didn’t work, I would have a backup plan in place to bring me back to center.
And what would have that backup plan gotten me? An easy out? A way to justify leaving behind my vision? A way to hide from that burning entrepreneurial desire? A right to acknowledge that “damnit, I tried my best, but it just wasn’t enough”?
I’ve been in over my head so many times with this whole thing. It should have drowned me long ago. It would have been easier and safer to say “conformity always comes with a guarantee” and conform. There was never a net under this tightrope, and I’m okay with that reality.
And, as I sit here coming up to 30, as a bachelor dog dad to three crazy pups and the realization that the only normal in my life is not having a routine or predictability of what’s next; and that I’m cool with it.
I think the only thing that scares me more than this journey is the thought of NOT being on this journey. And if there’s one thing I wish I could bottle up and share with the world it’s that practicing your passion is the best way to feel like you’re alive every single day.
No matter how insane that passion might be.
And luckily, unlike those Watershed lyrics I opened with, my parents have been in my corner all along.