It is what it is
October 13, 2011“It is what it is.” This is a common phrase in our house and has been since June 6, 2010. Ironically enough it was a phrase that Jim used often when life sucked and we’ve pretty much been living by it since The Crash.
It is what it is = there is nothing that can be done to change what happened, so accept it and move forward, no matter how hard.
While it’s extremely easy for us to speak these words, at times it’s hard to practice them in our daily lives. We know we can’t go back in time, we know the actions taken by The Mavris before June 5, 2010 that led to The Crash can’t be changed and we know that no matter how much we want to talk, stress, cry or ignore the events that took place, nothing will change because it is what it is.
Does it suck?! Absolutely!!!!!
Is it frustrating? I think that description is an understatement and underwhelms me.
Is there a day or moment that goes by when we don’t think about The Crash or the lasting emotional and physical effects that we are forced to deal with on a daily basis? Doubtful.
Are some days better than others? Of course, that’s life.
I had an old friend ask me, only 8 weeks after The Crash, in a shocking voice if we were still dealing with “stuff” from the crash. 8 weeks? We are 16 1/2 months out from The Crash and are dealing with “stuff” now more than ever. And while I can’t go into details and Tom and I try to live our “normal” lives, there are moments when neither of us thinks we have any amount of strength left. Of course, I still stand by my “life is always positive, the glass is half full” comments that we usually half believe but we continue on.
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I read a blog the other day about a lady who was celebrating the two year mark since her husband suffered a stroke. She talked about how there she was 23 years old, standing in the ER, not knowing if her husband would ever wake up. He did but still suffers some physical handicaps because of it. She wrote two years later, that if she could go back and tell herself something in that moment it would be:
“I know you think you can’t, but I promise, you can do this.”
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Of course, easier spoken and written than done but damn if she can do it, so can I. So we can do this. We can survive this horrible, terrible, no good situation that we are forced to deal with because of actions that were taken on what was supposed to be the happiest days of our lives.