Learning “We” into “I”

October 30, 2013 By Tom

It’s a tough transition, almost 7 years with the same person turns common phrases such as “I don’t have plans for the weekend”, into the team phrase of “WE don’t have plans for the weekend” and then suddenly having to relearn that instead of “We” it is once again I” in conversation.

It’s an equally tough transition learning to put “ex” in front of different people.  It’s retraining myself that “wife” becomes “ex-wife”, “mother-in-law” becomes “ex-mother-in-law”, “sister-in-law” becomes “ex-sister-in-law” and so on.

Or the fact I still haven’t adjusted to telling somebody I have two dogs and not three.

So many years building memories and traditions, that it’s a change to abruptly put all of that into past tense.  The holidays were always a big event in the family and a lot of the traditions that were jointly built or blended together between all of the extended families are out the window.

It’s a learning curve, it’s that moment when I still say “we” and get a look from somebody who knows the story and is waiting for me to correct myself to say “I”.  It’s trying to describe the unnatural size of my ex-parent-in-laws dog.  It’s now knowing every damn line from Christmas Vacation because of those consistent holiday traditions.

This whole thing is a learning curve.  But as a friend pointed out last week when she was in town and we got drinks, “Think of all the firsts you get to have again that you hadn’t planned on.  First dates, first kisses, first fights, first meeting the parents, first I love you’s and first new holiday traditions and so many more.”  I can’t say that I had pondered it that way, but it’s a pretty spot on quote that made me smile a whole lot.

So if you hear me saying “we” when I should be saying “I”, feel free to point it out and hit me.

because puppy pictures make me laugh–sorry Zee

Zilla, Bailey and I are learning that “we” are the new “we” in the Hanley home.

“I” Say Cheers,