The 4th Most Read Blog in My History

The top four most viewed blogs in the first 24 hours include: my first posting after the divorce, the day the NCSR video was released, the announcement that the lawsuit against John Mavris has been resolved, and now–the post I made yesterday on my social media revelations.

I hardly think my post from yesterday rivals the serious and life changing nature of those other three blog posts–but it’s not up to me to decide what and how the readers of this blog digest my writing.

I think that in itself, the readership of this blog has consistently increased over the last few years despite the ebb and flow of my commitment to it and the sometimes rocky style that oscillates between good and bad. Let’s face it, this blog has been one of, at times, my best methods of reflection and self-processing with the _occasional_ self-pity thrown in for good measure. I’ve wrote about the emotions on my sleeve, the anger in my gut, love, loss and the best and worst days of my life.

I’m often more candid on here than you’ll ever experience in person and there are plenty of times when I go relatively mute on topics I write about very openly and directly.

Somebody asked me recently about my biggest fear when it comes to writing So Much Life in Such Little Time and there are a few…

• I spend all this time writing and it winds up not getting published (I’ve been in consistent communication with updated copies of my work to make sure this doesn’t happen)
• nobody buys my book
• everyone thinks my book sucks
• I have to talk about some of the hardest days of my life that I had no trouble writing about, but am nervous as hell to talk about in person

I don’t want to fool anyone, most of my writing involves football and booze as I do it…it’s not wrong if I admit that, is it?

Any and all of these don’t sound appealing to me.  I also don’t take failing very gracefully...except for that math class in high school, but I hated the teacher, and I obviously showed her by making sure I failed out of her class; I mean, I did bring an organization that was on the brink of greatness (my vision) and death (the partner baggage) with three bickering co-founders back from the grave and turn it into something successful while simultaneously dealing with my wife’s affair and the divorce (and even after that I moved up in the world).

I don’t usually fail, but when I do, it haunts me. I don’t take the first swing, but I always take the last. So, it’s a bit (a lot) nerve-wracking to put some of my rawest thoughts out there in a polished form and know I need others to want to consume my words.

So, as I write SMLISLT, I’ve been feeling vulnerable about what happens after the book is done. I don’t have control over what happens after it is released to the public. If you know me well, you know I don’t do many things when I don’t control the outcome (have you seen me be a decent passenger in a car, ever?)–because it insures I continue to kick ass and take names like I’ve been raised and trained to do.

Just like I refused to fail at work, just like I refused to let the world crashing around me kill me, just like I refused to let my dreams die because of the carelessness and recklessness of others; I’m refusing to let those very real fears overshadow my writing. And I appreciate all of you who have dealt with my variety of writing styles, tones, topics and the sometimes cathartic nature and the peace that has resulted from me writing this words.

But really, a post on my social media habits garners the 4th most traffic in the history of this blog, really?!?

Till Next Time…Never Lose,

-th