Working Through This

February 5, 2016 By Tom

can’t tell you how many time I heard this over the last few years

I had someone scold me the other day for so quickly returning to work after losing Denver. They were appalled when I said that I was happier at work than sitting around my house feeling self-pity. That keeping busy and moving forward and growing Nine13 was the only thing I could control and do (and hopefully do well), and that there was nothing productive about wallowing about.

I’m fortunate that work makes me happy. Being involved with the community and helping make an impact brings me joy and satisfaction.

Besides, Denver would kick my ass if I let Nine13 go downhill because I wasn’t focusing on it.

In some ways, it’s cathartic, in other ways, my schedule is full of Denver related stuff right now. She’s being honored with a Special Resolution on Monday by the Indy City Council that I’ll be attending, we’ve got our first meeting of the Hutt Fellowship Committee next week to begin that project, I’m finalizing details related to a college scholarship in both her and Jim’s honor, and of course—my world is now also revolving around having that lovable Moose at my home permanently. It’s been 2 and half years since I last had 3 dogs in custody full-time, and it certainly is a bit of an adjustment doing it as a bachelor.

meet Moose the dog

But, these are all things that make me happy. I do well when I’m busy, I get pretty pathetic when I’ve got nothing on my agenda.

Talking with two friends last night at an event, we were talking about family and work and their transitions from hating the weekends because they love their career so much they miss it…and how that has changed as they’ve each started a family and their weekends have turned into watching their kids chase one another and making memories.

It’ll be a (long) while before I’ve got kids, but until then–the mutts will do just fine in terms of bringing me joy when I’m at home.

My point of this today (besides to keep writing and using it to mentally recover), is to highlight that everyone grieves and processes differently. There isn’t a right or wrong way–and you can’t judge others on what they feel the best way is.

Be kind, be awesome, and give someone a high-five today for me.